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1. Moppen
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Motif J551.5
Volgens Motif-Index of
Folk Literature (Helsinki, 1932-1936) van Stith Thompson
Algemene
structuur:
... the
punishment of a parrot and that bird’s subsequent identification
of itself with another animal or a person whose normal appearence is
similar to the bird’s mutilated appearence.
Neil V.
Rosenberg, An annotated collection of parrot jokes (1964)
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Moppen,
uit de archieven van het Papegaaienmuseum
#1.
Een man ging
met zijn papegaai naar een snoepwinkel. De papegaai vroeg: Mag ik
een snoepje?
Nee, dat is
niet goed voor je, zei de man.
Even later
weer: Mag ik een snoepje?
Ik zei toch al
van nee, antwoordde de man.
En hup, prompt
weer: Mag ik een snoepje?
De man boos: Als
je het nu nog een keer vraagt, hang ik je aan het plafond.
De papegaai
keek verschrikt omhoog, en zag een lamp hangen: Heb jij ook om
snoepjes gezeurd? (dec. 2006)
#2.
Een kapitein
heeft een papegaai en die zit altijd op zijn schouder. De kapitein
gaat een café binnen en zegt: één whiskey. En een cola
roept de papegaai er achter aan. Hé zegt de kapitein, hou
je bek jij!
Dag daarop
komen ze weer in een café, en hetzelfde gebeurt. De dag daarop wéér.
Kapitein goed boos: Als je nu nog één keer cola bestelt spijker
ik je tegen de muur..! En wanneer de kapitein cola bestelt,
bestelt de papegaai zijn cola!
Genoeg is
genoeg zegt de kapitein, en hij spijkert de papegaai tegen de muur,
naast een kruisbeeld.
De papegaai
kijkt opzij, en vraagt dan: Heb jij ook cola’s besteld..? (1990)
G. Legman, Rationale
of the dirty joke (1980)
#3.
A parrot has
the habit of jumping on the hens, and the farmer tells him that if he
does that again he will pull out every feather of his head. The parrot
jumps on the hens again, and his head-feathers are pulled out.
Meanwhil, the farmers’ wife, who has pretentions to culture, is
having a formal dinner. She appoints the parrot to the butler and to
tell the guests where to put their hats and coats. " Ladies to
the right" the parrot announces. "Gentlemen to the left".
Suddenly two bald-headed men enter, and the parrot says: " You
two chicken-fuckers come out in the henhouse with me."
(Motif
J2211.2)
En:
#4.
A parrot sees
the minister walk naked through the house to take a bath, and cries:
"I see your ass!" He is doused with water in punishment for
swearing. Later, when the pastor’s daughter comes in from the rain
ans shakes off her wet raincoat, the parrot says: "Whose ass did
you see?"
John
A. Burrison: Storytellers: folktales & legends from the South,
(1991)
Bron
echter is: G. Legman, No laughing matter: an analysis on sexual
humor, 2 (1968)
#5.
The parrot
goes to church
It’s the
same parrot. This is a develish parrot, you know. So anyway, this same
old parrot and this lady what had the maid hired, her husband was
shavin’, and the parrot was lookin’ in the mirror at him while he
was shavin’. The parrot said to him: " Look out there, God damn
you! You goin’ to cut yourself!"
This man says,
"All right; if you don’t shut up I’m goin’ to wring you’re
neck."
Says,
"Look out there; God damn it, you’re goin’ to cut yourself!"
He says,
"I told you, if you don’t hush your mouth I’m goin’ to pull
all the feathers out the top of your head."
The old man
would carry the parrot to church with him every Sunday, y’know. And
set him way over in the amen corner or either set him in the pulpit.
And so he lived-off again. "Look out there, you goin’ to cut
yourself."
"I told
you, damn it, I was goin’ to pull all the feathers out of your head."
So he grabbed him, pulled all the feathers out of his head, and th’owed
him back in his cage. So that made the parrot bald-headed. And told
him, "Git back in there, you hen-fuckin’ son-of-a-bitch, you!"
That’s what he told the parrot. He was mad wit’him, y’know.
So he took him
to church that day – the same parrot – took him to the church. Old
parrot sttin’... he put him way off over there in the corner by
hisself, ‘cause he was ashamed of him, see. And they went to havin’service,
prayer meetin’, and devotional and everything. And so, the preacher
got up preachin’. And things got kindly quiet. Here come in two old
bald-headed men, way late. Old parrot looked up and seen’em. Men
lookin’ all way round for a seat. Church was full; they couldn’t
find a saet. Even the ushers couldn’t find ‘em no seat. Lookin’
all way ‘round. So that parrot flopped his wings, say, : Hey, you
two!" Say, "You two hen’fuckin’ son-of-a-bitches, come
on over here where I’m at!!"
Internet
#6
A farmer and
his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative.
The parrot
being a male sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors turkeys and
rushes back home before being caught in the act.
The next door
neighbors knock on the door and explain what the parrot has been doing.
The owners of
the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going
to shave the parrot's head.
That night the
parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out again and screws his
neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down
and proceeds to shave his head.
The following
morning is the farmers daughter's wedding, and in order to please the
relative that gave them the parrot they sit the parrot on a piano and
tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell
them where to sit in the church.
The parrot is
doing fine. "Groom's side to the left and Bride's side to the
right."
Then two bald
guys walk in and he says, "And you two turkey fuckers, up on the
piano with me."
#7
My friend had
2 parrots at home. Not knowing which is male and which female, he
became curious and watchfull. He got back from work the next day and
found one on the other so he decided to scrape the hair on the head of
the one on top to use in identifying which is male. On another fateful
day, he had a visitor with a bald head and the male parrot, on
sighting the man, started chanting: "Was he caught *****ing also,
was he caught *****ing also"
Uit de
collectie van het Meertensinstituut, AT 0237
#
8
In een herberg
doet een pratende papegaai de stem van de vrouw des huizes na en
bestelt twintig mud brandstof. Als de vrouw hierachter komt, geeft ze
de vogel zo'n enorme klap dat het hoofd van het dier scheef op de romp
komt te staan. Als er even later een man met een zelfde hoofdafwijking
de herberg betreedt, vraagt de vogel of hij soms ook twintig mud
brandstof heeft besteld.
De papegaai
van de kastelein roept de brandstofverkoper 'geef nóg maar tien mud
anthrasiet' na nadat de kastelein zelf dezelfde bestelling al heeft
gedaan. Als de kastelein in de gaten krijgt dat de papegaai hem een
poets gebakken heeft, smijt hij het dier zo hardhandig naar buiten dat
de kop de vogel schuin op de romp staat. Als de papegaai meegenomen
wordt naar het huis van een pater, vraagt het dier zich vertwijfeld af
of Jezus - aan het kruis met de hals schuin - ook om brandstof heeft
gevraagd.
Een jongen
krijgt van zijn vader op zijn donder omdat hij voor een kwartje tien
sinaasappels heeft verkocht in plaats van acht. Als de jongen na de
slaag het huis ontvlucht, ziet hij bij een bidhuisje Jezus aan het
kruis hangen. Omdat ook Jezus het hoofd schuin heeft en tranen in de
ogen, concludeert de jongen 'Jij hebt er zeker ook tien verkocht voor
een kwartje'.
Een papegaai
bootst de stem van zijn baas na en geeft een koopman opdracht een hele
wagenvracht hout af te leveren. Als de baas verneemt dat de papegaai
al het hout besteld heeft, geeft hij het dier zo'n vreselijke oplawaai
dat het kreupel wordt. Als er een paar dagen later een kreupele man
aan de deur komt, zegt de papegaai prompt: 'Ook hout gekocht?'.
Een papegaai
bootst de stem van zijn baas na en geeft een koopman opdracht duizend
stukken turf te leveren. Als de baas dit merkt, wordt hij zo woedend
op de papegaai dat hij het dier met kooi en al op de mesthoop gooit.
Als kort daarop een dronken man struikelt en naast de papegaai terecht
komt, zegt die prompt 'Jij hebt zeker ook turf besteld'.
Omdat een
papegaai het drinkgedrag van een man aan diens vrouw dreigt de
verklappen, besluit de man het dier de kop af te snijden. De man geeft
de papegaai een haal met een mes en verbergt de vogel zolang in de
wc-pot. Als de vrouw kort daarop naar de wc gaat, hoort ze een zielig
stemmetje 'Ook stout geweest? Ook een sneetje?' zeggen.
Een ondeugende
papegaai verklikt iets. In zijn woede snijdt de heer des huizes bijna
de kop van de vogel eraf en gooit de vogel in de wc. De vogel leeft
echter nog. Als de vrouw naar de wc moet, zegt de papegaai meewarig
'Hebben ze jou ook de kop afgesneden?'.
Een dominee
ruilt zijn vloekende papegaai voor de papegaai van de slager. Als de
slager zich op een keer in de vinger snijdt, begint de vogel vreselijk
te vloeken. De slager wordt zo boos dat hij het dier een klap geeft.
Als de papegaai begint te bloeden, smijt de slager hem in de wc. Als
het dienstmeisje op de wc gaat zitten, zegt de papegaai 'heeft de
slager jou ook met zijn mes te pakken gehad?'.
De papegaai
van een boer vergrijpt zich steeds aan de kippen. Voor straf wordt
zijn kop kaalgeplukt en wordt hij in de kelder opgesloten. Op de
bruiloft van de boerendochter moet de papegaai voor ceremoniemeester
spelen en moet hij zeggen: "Dames links en heren rechts."
Als er twee kale mannen binnenkomen, stuurt hij ze naar de kelder.
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Bibliotheek
Armand Silvestre: Paroles d'Amour
Voor een compleet dossier van het volksboek Le livre du chevalier de
la tour Landry KLIK HIER
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2. Motief J 551.5 - Terug in de tijd
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1898
Uitgave van The
spiritual couplets of Maulana Jalalu-‘d Din Muhammad Rumi: The
Masnavi in de vertaling, uit het Perzisch, van E.H. Whinfield |
Book I, Story
2:
The Oilman and
his Parrot.
An oilman
possessed a parrot which used to amuse him with its agreeable prattle,
and to watch his shop when he went out. One day, when the parrot was
alone in the shop, a cat upset one of the oil-jars. When the oilman
returned home he thought that the parrot had done this mischief, and
in his anger he smote the parrot such a blow on the head as made all
its feathers drop off, and so stunned it that it lost the power of
speech for several days. But one day the parrot saw a bald-headed man
passing the shop, and recovering its speech, it cried out, "Pray,
whose oil-jar did you upset?" The passers-by smiled at the
parrot's mistake in confounding baldness caused by age with the loss
of its own feathers due to a blow.
Confusion of
saints with hypocrites
Worldly senses
are the ladder of earth,
Spiritual
senses are the ladder of heaven.
The health of
the former is sought of the leech,
The health of
the latter from "The Friend."
The health of
the former arises from tending the body,
That of the
latter from mortifying the flesh.
The kingly
soul lays waste the body,
And after its
destruction he builds it anew.
Happy the soul
who for love of God
Has lavished
family, wealth, and goods!
Has destroyed
its house to find the hidden treasure,
And with that
treasure has rebuilt it in fairer sort;
Has dammed up
the stream and cleansed the channel,
And then
turned a fresh stream into. the channel;
Has cut its
flesh to extract a spear-head,
Causing a
fresh skin to grow again over the wound;
Has razed the
fort to oust, the infidel in possession,
And then
rebuilt it with a hundred towers and bulwarks.
Who can
describe the unique work of Grace?
I have been
forced to illustrate it by these similes.
Sometimes it
presents one appearance, sometimes another.
Yea, the
affair of religion is only bewilderment.
Not, such as
occurs when one turns one's back on God,
But such as
when one is drowned and absorbed in Him.
The latter has
his face ever turned to God,
The former's
face shows his undisciplined self-will.
Watch the face
of each one, regard it well,
It may be by
serving thou wilt recognize Truth's face.
As there are
many demons with men's faces,
It is wrong to
join hand with every one.
When the
fowler sounds his decoy whistle,
That the birds
may be beguiled by that snare,
The birds hear
that call simulating a bird's call,
And,
descending from the air, find net and knife.
So vile
hypocrites steal the language of Darveshes,
In order to
beguile the simple with their trickery.
The works of
the righteous are light and heat,
The works of
the evil treachery and shamelessness.
They make
stuffed lions to scare the simple,
They give the
title of Muhammad to false Musailima.
But Musailma
retained the name of "Liar,"
And Muhammad
that of "Sublimest of beings."
That wine of
God (the righteous) yields a perfume of musk;
Other wine
(the evil) is reserved for penalties and pains.
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1890, London
W. A.
Clouston: Flowers from a Persian Garden and Other Papers
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This tale [=The Oilman and his Parrot]
is found in the early
Italian novelists, (Wie?
Waar?) slightly varied, and it was doubtless introduced by
Venetian merchants from the Levant: A parrot belonging to Count Fiesco
was discovered one day stealing some roast meat from the kitchen. The
enraged cook, overtaking him, threw a kettle of boiling water at him,
which completely scalded all the feathers from his head, and left the
poor bird with a bare poll. Some time afterwards, as Count Fiesco was
engaged in conversation with an abbot, the parrot, observing the
shaven crown of his reverence, hopped up to him and said: "What!
Do you like roast meat too?"
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1890
citaat uit:
W. A. Clousto: Flowers from a Persian Garden and Other Papers
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Here is yet another variant of this
droll tale [The grocer and his parrot, zie 1884], which has been
popular for generations throughout England, and was quite recently
reproduced in an American journal as a genuine "nigger"
story: In olden times there was a roguish baker who made many of his
loaves less than the regulation weight, and one day, on observing the
government inspector coming along the street, he concealed the light
loaves in a closet. The inspector having found the bread on the
counter of the proper weight, was about to leave, when a parrot, which
the baker kept in his shop, cried out: "Light bread in the
closet!" This caused a search to be made, and the baker was
heavily fined. Full of fury, the baker seized the parrot, wrung its
neck, and threw it in his back yard, near the carcase of a pig that
had died of the measles. The parrot, coming to itself again, observed
the dead porker and inquired in a tone of sympathy: "O poor piggy,
didst thou, too, tell about light bread in the closet?"
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1888
Knowles,
James Hinton: Folk-tales of Kashmir |
Volgt
later in het HPM
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1884
Alfred
Cooper Fryer: English Fairy Tales from the North Country |
The Grocer and
his Parrot
There was once
a grocer in a small country village — I am not going to tell you
where — who possessed a lovely parrot. With its long scaly claws,
curved beak, and bright beady eyes, which beamed and twinkled with an
expression of sly humour, it very much resembled any other parrot. But
the distinguishing beauty of this particular Poil, which rendered it
so costly in price and invested it with such a charm in its owner's
eyes, was its magnificent grass-green plumage, as long and soft and
glossy as silk or spun glass. Like other birds of its kind, this
parrot had been trained to speak, and much it loved to exercise its
tongue. But as it also had a habit of speaking the truth, it sometimes
happened, as we shall presently see that poor Polly got into serious
trouble.
The grocer had
provided for his pet a neat wire cage, which, in fine weather, was
hung above the shop door. There, through the long summer afternoons,
Polly would sit for hours motionless on her perch, enjoying the warm
sunshine, and noting, with keen restless glances, everything that
passed in the busy little world around. Out in the street, or in the
shop, nothing escaped Polly's observation.
One day, when
business was slack, and few customers disturbed the quiet of the
grocer's shop, Polly watched her master, who paid little heed to the
sharp eyes that were looking on, busy himself in mixing sand with his
stock of brown sugar. Just as he had finished the dishonest task, an
old woman entered and asked for some of that very article. The grocer
was preparing, scoop in hand, to weigh out the exact quantity, when
suddenly the honest bird cried out, as loud as she could speak, "Sand
in the sugar! Sand in the sugar!" Both the grocer and his
customer were astounded; but the old woman was the first to recover
from her astonishment, and, picking up her money, she walked out of
the shop.
Then the
grocer flew into a rage, as people generally do when they are found
out in a mean or wicked action; and taking down the cage, he shook it
furiously, till quite a cloud of feathers floated about the shop, like
leaves in an autumn gale. Poor Polly, with plumage ruffled, and half
dead with terror, cowered in a corner of the cage, while her master
shouted, "You abominable bird! If you ever again tell tales of me
I will wring your neck; so take warning once for all!"
A few days
afterwards, in the early morning, just before the shop was opened,
Polly saw her master scrape some brick-dust and mix it up with
powdered cocoa which he took out of the packets in which it had been
sent to him. Then he tied up the packets again and took down the
shutters. It was not long before a customer entered - a young workman,
with a basket on his arm. He was purchasing articles for his breakfast,
and wished to buy a packet of cocoa. But what was his surprise, and
the grocer's vexation, when Polly, forgetful of everything but her
desire to tell the truth, exclaimed shrilly, " Brick-dust in the
cocoa! Brick-dust in the cocoa!" The workman, seeing the guilty
expression of the grocer’s face, smiled shrewdly as if he quite
understood the parrot's hint, and left the shop without making his
purchase.
The cruel
grocer was ten times more angry than before, and shook the cage till
his arm was tired, exclaiming, - You wicked, ungrateful bird! Would
you drive away all my customers? Have you forgotten what I told you?
The next time you serve me such a trick I shall kill you without mercy!"
Poor Polly was
thoroughly frightened, and resolved never to speak out again, whatever
she might see. But, like some featherless parrots, she found it harder
to keep silence than she expected, Time passed, and one day, after her
master had been busily engaged for some hours in manufacturing "
shop" butter, which was nothing else than lard artfully coloured
with a little turmeric, a gaily-dressed lady entered and asked for a
pound of fresh butter. "This is really beautiful butter, ma'am,"
said the deceitful grocer; "it is the best quality, and fresh
this morning from the dairy."
On hearing
this wicked untruth the parrot could control herself no longer, and
cried out. loudly, "Lard in the butter! Lard in the butter!"
"Scoundrel
of a parrot!" shouted the enraged grocer, and rushing to the cage
he drew forth the trembling bird, and hastily wringing its neck, flung
the body on an ash-heap in the yard at the back of the shop. Polly,
however, was not dead; though that was not the fault of her master's
intention, for he quite meant to kill her. In a few minutes she began
to revive, and venturing to lift up her head, saw beside her the body
of a cat, which had also been thrown upon the ash-heap.
"Hallo!" she whispered. in rather hoarse tones. "What
is the matter with you?" But the cat made no reply; for in truth
it had not heard the question, its heart having long ceased to beat.
"He is dead!" sighed Polly; "poor fellow! perhaps he,
too was afflicted with a love of truth." Then she got upon her
feet and tried her wings, "They are sound, at all events,"
said she, with delight; "I will be off while I can. I will leave
this dingy England, and seek some country where truth is venerated."
With these words Polly spread her wings and flew swiftly away towards
the sun, till she became a mere speck in the distance.
Did she ever
reach a land where truth is universally venerated? We know not, and we
fear not, for it is said that she flew twice round the world and did
not find the object of her quest. Perhaps she is flying on still.
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1879
Memoir of
the Rev. Richard Harris Barham
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The Ingoldsby
Legends
'A certain
notable housewife (...) had observed that her stock of pickled cockles
were running remarkably low, and she spoke to the cook in consequence,
who alone had access to them. The cook had noticed the same serious
deficiency, - "she couldn't tell how, but they certainly
disappeared much too fast!" A degree of coolness, approaching to
estrangement, ensued between these worthy individuals, which the rapid
consumption of the pickled cockles by no means contributed to remove.
The lady became more distant than ever, spoke pointedly and before
company, of "some people's unaccountable partiality to pickled
cockles," &c. The cook's character was at stake; unwilling to
give warning, with such an imputation upon her self-denial, not to say
honesty, she, nevertheless, felt that all confidence between her
mistress and herself was at an end.
'One day the
jar containing the evanescent condiment being placed as usual on the
dresser, while she was busily engaged in basting a joint before the
fire, she happened to turn suddenly round, and beheld, to her great
indignation, a favourite magpie, remarkable for his conversational
powers and general intelligence, perched by its side, and dipping his
beak down the open neck with every symptom of gratification. The
mystery was explained - the thief detected! Grasping the ladle of
scalding grease which she held in her hand, the exasperated lady
dashed the whole contents over the hapless pet, accompanied by the
exclamation - '"Oh, d--me, you've been at the pickled cockles,
have ye?"
'Poor Mag, of
course, was dreadfully burnt; most of his feathers came off, leaving
his little round pate, which had caught the principal part of the
volley, entirely bare. The poor bird moped about, lost all his spirit,
and never spoke for a year.
'At length
when he had pretty well recovered, and was beginning to chatter again,
a gentleman called at the house, who, on taking off his hat,
discovered a very bald head! The magpie, who happened to be in the
room, appeared evidently struck by the circumstance; his reminiscences
were at once powerfully excited by the naked appearance of the
gentleman's skull. Hopping upon the back of his chair, and looking him
hastily over, he suddenly exclaimed, in the ear of the astounded
visitor - '"Oh, d--me, you've been at the pickled cockles, have
ye?"'
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1868, London
The knight
of the Tower
Vertaling
Thomas Wright |
I wolle telle
you an ensaumple of a woman that ete the good morselle in the absence
of her husbonde.
Ther was a
woman that had a pie in a cage, that spake and wolde telle talys that
she saw do. And so it happed that her husbonde made kepe a gret ele in
a litelle ponde in his gardin, to that entent to yeue it sum of his
frendes that wolde come to see hym; but the wyff, whanne her husbond
was oute, saide to her maide, '' late us ete the gret ele, and y wille
saie to my husbond that the otour hathe eten hym," and so it was
done. And whan the good man was come, the pye began to telle hym how
her maistresse had eten the ele. And he yode to the ponde, and fonde
not the ele. And he asked his wiff wher the ele was become. And she
wende to haue excused her, but he saide her, "excuse you not, for
y wote welle ye haue eten yt, for the pye hathe told me." And so
ther was gret noyse betwene the man and hys wiff for etinge of the ele.
But whanne the good man was gone, the maistresse and the maide come to
the pie, and plucked of alle the fedres on the pyes hede, saieng,
"thou hast discouered us of the ele;" and thus was the pore
pye plucked. But euer after, whanne the pie sawe a balled or a pilled
man, or a woman with an highe forhede, the pie saide to hem, "ye
spake of the ele."
And therfor
here is an ensaumple that no woman shulde ete no lycorous morcelles in
the absens and withoute weting of her husbond, but yef it so were that
it be with folk of worshippe, to make hem chere; for this woman was
afterward mocked for the pye and the ele.
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Hiermee zijn we gekomen bij wat de Europese oerbron lijkt van motief J
551.5, het volksboek dat bekend staat onder vele titels, waaronder Le
livre du chevalier de la tour Landry, The Knight of the Tower, en Der
Ritter vom Turm. De oorsprong van de vertelling ligt in India.
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Voor een compleet dossier van het volksboek Le livre du chevalier de
la tour Landry KLIK HIER
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1868, Dublin
The knight of
the Tower
1854, Paris
Le livre du
chevalier de la tour Landry
1572,
Franckfurt am Mayn
Der Ritter vom
Turm
1519,
Strassburg
Der Ritter vom
Turn
1514, Paris
Le chevalier
de la tour
1513, Basel
Der Ritter vom
Turn
1495, Augsburg
Der Ritter vom
Turn
1493, Basel
Der Ritter vom
Turn
1484, London
The knight of
the Tower
1371-1373
Geoffroy de La
Tour-Landry schrijft wat is komen te heten: Le chevalier de
Tour-Landry Livre pour l’enseignement de ses filles
1258-1273
Maulana Jalalu-‘d
Din Muhammad Rumi schrijft: The Masnavi, waarin opgenomen:
De oliehandelaar en de papegaai (voor Engelse vertaling zie 1898)
Het verhaal
komt naar alle waarschijnlijkheid uit het Sanskriet, India. Bron
opsporen.
Shuka-Saptati
(Zeventig verhalen van een papegaai)latere versie: papegaai houdt
vrouw aan de praat, maanden lang, tijdens afwezigheid van haar man.
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