A few days
afterwards, as I was walking idly about, I passed a place
called the Parrot
Market. As I was amusing myself by looking at
these curious
birds, I saw a fine young one in a cage, and asked what
language it
spoke. They told me that it was quite young and did not
speak at all
yet, so I bought it for ten guineas. I thought I would
teach the bird
a pretty speech, so I had the cage hung by my bed, and
repeated
dozens of times every day the following sentence: "The
Charpillon is
a bigger wh--e than her mother."
The only end I
had in view was my private amusement, and in a
fortnight the
bird had learnt the phrase with the utmost exactness;
and every time
it uttered the words it accompanied them with a shriek
of laughter
which I had not taught it, but which made me laugh
myself.
One day Goudar
heard the bird, and told me that if I sent it to the
Exchange I
should certainly get fifty guineas for it. I welcomed the
idea, and
resolved to make the parrot the instrument of my vengeance
against the
woman who had treated me so badly. I secured myself from
fear of the
law, which is severe in such cases, by entrusting the
bird to my
negro, to whom such merchandise was very suitable.
For the first
two or three days my parrot did not attract much
attention, its
observations being in French; but as soon as those who
knew the
subject of them had heard it, its audience increased and
bids were
made. Fifty guineas seemed rather too much, and my negro
wanted me to
lower the price, but I would not agree, having fallen in
love with this
odd revenge.
In the course
of a week Goudar came to inform me of the effect the
parrot's
criticism had produced in the Charpillon family. As the
vendor was my
negro, there could be no doubt as to whom it belonged,
and who had
been its master of languages. Goudar said that the
Charpillon
thought my vengeance very ingenious, but that the mother
and aunts were
furious. They had consulted several counsel, who
agreed in
saying that a parrot could not be indicted for libel, but
that they
could make me pay dearly for my jest if they could prove
that I had
been the bird's instructor. Goudar warned me to be
careful of
owning to the fact, as two witnesses would suffice to undo
me.
The facility
with which false witnesses may be produced in London is
something
dreadful. I have myself seen the word evidence written in
large
characters in a window; this is as much as to say that false
witnesses may
be procured within.
The St.
James's Chronicle contained an article on my parrot, in which
the writer
remarked that the ladies whom the bird insulted must be
very poor and
friendless, or they would have bought it at once, and
have thus
prevented the thing from becoming the talk of the town. He
added,--
"The
teacher of the parrot has no doubt made the bird an instrument
of his
vengeance, and has displayed his wit in doing so; he ought to
be an
Englishman."
I met my good
friend Edgar, and asked him why he had not bought the
little
slanderer.
"Because
it delights all who know anything about the object of the
slander,"
said he.
At last Jarbe
found a purchaser for fifty guineas, and I heard
afterwards
that Lord Grosvenor had bought it to please the
Charpillon,
with whom he occasionally diverted himself.
Thus my
relations with that girl came to an end. I have seen her
since with the
greatest indifference, and without any renewal of the
old pain.